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www.stanleykrippner.com
Stanley Krippner has presented dream workshops around the world and published extensively about dreams, including cross-cultural studies on spiritual content in dreams.

www.dreamnetwork.net
Dream Network is a quarterly dream journal that explores the Power of Dreams, Dream Interpretations (What Dreams Mean), Dream Sharing . Dream Education , Dream Symbols and Mythology.

Trafford Publishing
Publisher of Living Dreams Living Life.

Articles

Excerpts:

“Personalized Method for Interpreting Dreams (PMID) -- As Applied to Relationship Issues.” Dreaming: The Journal of the Association for the Study of Dreams, 11(4) (2001), 207-220. (Excerpt is from page 210)

(This article is a brief form of Evelyn M. Duesbury’s thesis “Utilizing Dreams from a Systemic Perspective to Understand and Mollify Relationship Issues,” University of Wisconsin-Whitewater, spring 2000.)

Systems effects of family and other major relationships are reflected in each series of dreams. . . . Rose’ series of dreams about her husband interconnected to her mother-in-law, sexual issues, her son, and her childhood best friend. Her series of dreams about her son interconnected to Rose’ husband (son’s dad), Rose’ mother, and Rose’s childhood best friend, Carlie.

Systems effects were reflected, for example, when Carlie came in a dream about Rose’s terror at her son’s moving out of her reach in the individuation process. There Carlie plays on first team basketball in Rose’s place, revealing Rose was unconsciously repeating the feeling of being replaced in her current friendship with her son. Dream help comes when Rose picks up a handful of rich black dirt that just falls apart as she holds her hand open, which she understood to assure her the falling apart of her son from her close mothering was productive. From her farm background she knows that black dirt is a most productive soil, unlike clay soil that sticks together. In a later dream about her son, Rose is watching a television play about a woman and a young man officer who had been comrades for an involved mission for what seemed to be their whole lives to this point. Now at this point they are going on to separate missions. They aren't leaving each other; it means their relationship as it has been is ended, though. Then in the dream Rose recognizes herself as the woman. When she woke she realized the young man officer symbolized her son.

Rose’s dreams about her mother and father interconnected to Rose’s reactions to sex and marriage, and consequently to her relationship with her husband. Rose’s work with a series of dreams about her mother helped Rose finally accept her womanliness. Her work with a series of dreams about her dad helped Rose look to her own inner self for attention. Rose’s sexual issue dreams suggest two significant early influences on Rose’s psyche, “thoughts about sex I understood from religious teachings that sex is a sinful act,” and “hints of childhood molest.” The series finally shows resolution of these issues.

In her series of dreams about a spiritual mentor, the mentor comes to Rose’s childhood home and his lion is injured. In a later dream the mentor safely returns to the family farm to work in the high hills, for the father, depicting Rose’s spiritual growth.

Facilitation of Dream Interpretation as Part of Psychotherapy, Co-author with David Van Doren, Ed. D. (Submitted to a professional journal).

Abstract

The authors claim that dreams contain valuable information for understanding and alleviating people’s stress. They present a researched dream interpretation model for counselors’ use in facilitating clients who choose to work with their dreams. Counselors who become adept at using the Personalized Method for Interpreting Dreams (PMID) will likely find it is applicable to several psychotherapeutic orientations. For instance, as shown in this article, this model blends well with cognitive behavior therapy.

Investigating the General Public’s Ability to Use the Personalized Method for Interpreting Dreams (PMID), with Focus on Relationship Concerns, Co-author with Aneneosa A. G. Okocha, Ph.D. (Submitted to a professional journal).

Abstract

The authors conducted a six-month study of a general population’s use of the Personalized Method for Interpreting Dreams (PMID) to relieve stress. The 17 participants volunteered 222 dreams and their PMID interpretations; 122 dreams were about relationships and 99 contained influences from the past. Eight participants continued active involvement throughout the study. Results show that these active participants significantly increased their ability to use the PMID model and that use of the PMID model was a factor in reducing stress. Participants attributed facilitative comments on use of the PMID as important to effective use of the Model.

Full Articles:

Let the Little Girl Carry Her Own Bag

Excerpted from Dream Network Journal, Vol. 14, No. 3 (Autumn 1995), reprinted with permission. (Updated [2007] Personalized Method for Interpreting Dreams [PMID])

Background: I am an accounting professor. I am also a dreamer. Now that I’ve discovered the link between these two “professions,” my waking and sleeping lives are vastly enriched. In this article I share a dream that demonstrates the link between the two worlds as well as tells how I used the dream.

Dream: Someone is talking to Dolores Mays about a little girl who has an opportunity to go someplace. It seems like the little girl wasn't going to go, but when someone asks Dolores Mays about it, Dolores says all she knows is that the little girl has her bag packed. Either I see the bag, a pure yellow bag, sitting in my hometown school house hallway between the superintendent's office and the third and fourth grade room, or Dolores says it is there. Dolores is standing in the hallway while she is talking. Dolores says to the effect she has no decision in the matter. It is entirely the little girl's decision. It is up to the little girl who is a capable, independent-thinking little girl.

PMID Step 1: Day-before-your-dream event(s) that connect to this dream.

The day before this dream, a former student, Becca, came to my office and gave me an update of her life since she graduated and then we discussed her growing up years. She told me how she misses her mom who passed away a few years ago. She told how she learned to read at three years old after her mom said she couldn't "ride the big yellow bus" with her brother until she learned to read.

She told about her continuing commitment to the church and concerns for the church. She told how she really would like to have time off work to take a trip to a national church youth meeting. She told me how she delights in her work as an accountant and the joy it was when she passed the CPA examinations.

PMID Step 2: Connect day-before-the dream thought(s) to dream by treating the dream as a responsive answer to pre-dream thoughts.

Yesterday, when Becca told of her “load” of missing her mom and her concern for the church, I thought how much I would like to help her.

PMID Step 3: Major dream phrases (and symbols) defined in the context of this dream.

• Little girl in the dream: Descriptive of Becca, capable and independent-thinking.
• Dolores Mays: A "backbone" of a church in my past. She dedicated herself to the Sunday school and guiding little children according to her own strong standards.
• Little yellow bag: On the one hand, may be some "baggage" Becca still has to unload from the missing her mom and the times with her mom such as the nine months of asking "Mom, why can't I ride the big yellow bus now that I can read?" (Something she told me the day before this dream). On the other hand, the little yellow bag may be Becca's preparation for her life's journey ahead now that she has made the decision to "go someplace."
• Setting of the dream in a school: Represents that Becca is progressing on the journey. Here she did make it to school.
• My hometown school: Represents I am basing my thoughts on how to help Becca from my own experiences and standards.

PMID Step 4: Dreaming emotions compared with waking life emotions about issue in this dream.

None recorded in the dream at the time of the dream. In retrospect, my dreaming emotions could have been compassion and then surprise about Becca’s independence. My waking life emotion for Becca’s welfare was compassion.

PMID Step 5: Solutions or suggestions for changing thoughts, attitudes or behaviors.

My first thought when I recognized the dream was somehow connected to my desire to help Becca was to send a book to help her. I thought of an appropriate book and wrote an order for the book. As I was ready to seal the envelope, a quick knowing flashed through my mind: “The independent thinking little girl in my dream is Becca.” The solution in this dream is “Don’t come rushing in with ‘help.’”

My dream is answering my pre-dream thoughts on how to help Becca. In the dream, Dolores is resigned that the little girl has made the decision on her own. The dream is saying the little girl can handle her life. Don't come rushing in with "help." The decisions are Becca's. Like Dolores, I "have no say" in the matter: The "little girl" has complete say.

When, at three years old, Becca, learned how to read so she could "ride the big yellow bus," she proved she is most capable of using her own resources in her journey through life.

PMID Step 6: Dreaming and waking life reactions to each person in this dream.

[PMID Step 6 is not applicable for this dream. It is applicable for “relationship dreams,” dreams about emotional stress from relationship experiences.]

How I used the dream: As a result of interpreting this dream, I sent a letter of congratulations to my young friend on passing the CPA examinations and asked her to keep in touch.

This next article was originally published in Dream Network, 13(2) (Spring 1994) “Professor Uses Dreams as Guides in Working with Students,” and reprinted with slight modifications, in Evelyn M Duesbury’s Book (2007) Living Dreams, Living Life, a practical guide for understanding your dreams and how they can change your waking life. Trafford Publishing.

Don't Ask Your Students to Wash Their Dirty Laundry in Public

Background: In my work as a professor, I am catching fascinating glimpses of an ever-present Counselor who has finally caught my attention by speaking to me in my dreams. Imagine my delight at discovering my theater of the night also acts as a light by day as I teach students.

Dream: People are washing clothes in a laundry area of our apartment building. They brought the clothes up from the basement. I bring my clothes to wash also. A woman who was washing in the basement is now washing upstairs in this public laundry sort of area. A young man, probably a college student, is standing close to her and when he sees me, he says very loudly and possessively to me, "I'm next."

I take my basket of clothes downstairs and talk loudly in mimic of the young man's "I'm next" as I go down the stairs. However, when I arrive in the basement, I understand why these people aren't washing in the basement. Either there aren't machines here now, or they aren't working. The upstairs is more like a public laundry than the basement.

PMID Step 1: Day-before-your-dream event(s) that connect to this dream.

[The day before this dream] we discussed an ethics case I had assigned to my business students. The case involved a graduating senior who had job interviews at two separate companies in the same city. Upon discovering he would be reimbursed for interviewing expenses, the student billed both companies for the full amount of his expenses.

In our brief class discussion, a couple students openly said they would have done the same thing; that is, take double reimbursement; it would help on college expenses. Some other students said they would not have taken the double reimbursement; it did not seem ethical to them. I reminded my students that it is needful to be considerate of all people involved in circumstances.

Later, when I read the students' written responses to the ethics question, I was surprised to find that several said they would have taken the double reimbursement.

PMID Step 2: Connect day-before-the dream thoughts to dream by treating the dream as a responsive answer to pre-dream thoughts.

[Yesterday after the class] I decided to talk about the case in class again. I gave considerable thought to how I would approach the matter without inhibiting the students from feeling free to express themselves openly and honestly in class. In early morning the day I planned to give my "little talk," the above dream came.

PMID Step 3: Major dream phrases (and symbols) defined in the context of this dream.

• Clothes: Often symbolic of the personality.
• Public laundry: Public place to cleanse the personality.
• Wash dirty clothes in public: What I would be asking my students to do if I ask them to discuss in class what I consider unclean ideas about taking the double reimbursement.
• Upstairs more like a public laundry than the basement: Basement represents the privacy at the depth of the mind in this dream. Assigning the ethics case provided an opportunity for each student to cleanse personality attitudes and emotions in privacy, or depth of their minds.
• Student loudly and possessively telling me, "I'm next:" Represents his lack of consideration for others while watching out intensely for his own interests. Here, the dream symbolizes what I considered taking the double reimbursement would represent. I considered it would represent lack of consideration for others.
• My mimic, repeat, of the student: Points out that for me to repeat the students' comments about accepting the double reimbursement would be taunting insults to my students.
• Basement washing machines inoperable for me, too: My planned talk was not coming from my inner resources.
• Had dirty clothes to wash, too: Let the one who casts the first stone. . . . .

Author: Universal meanings expanded by the dreamer’s personal experiences make sense of the dream symbols. Clothes and levels of a building are universal symbols.

PMID Step 4: Dreaming emotions compared with waking life emotions.

My dreaming emotion, by implication, is surprise at there being no washing machines in the basement. Before this dream, although I had given the matter considerable thought, I still did not feel completely at ease with what I planned to say.

PMID Step 5: Solutions or suggestions for changing thoughts, attitudes or behaviors.

The dream answers my day-before-the-dream thoughts by showing that my planned talk about the students’ responses to the ethics case in class is like asking my students to "wash their dirty laundry in public." Discussing the matter further in class is like asking my students to reveal in public what each student should be allowed to contemplate in private.

PMID Step 6: Dreaming and waking life reactions to each person in this dream.

[PMID Step 6 is not applicable for this dream. It is applicable for “relationship dreams,” dreams about emotional stress from relationship experiences.]

How I Used My Dream: When I went to class, I gave each student a copy of the textbook authors' comments on the ethics case and made a note to myself to assign the ethics cases from most chapters we will cover. I did not give my planned little talk.

Next is the second dream in the “Professor Uses Dreams as Guides in Working with Students,” in Dream Network, 13(2) (Spring 1994). (Updated to show the Personalized Method for Interpreting Dreams [PMID], current to 2007)

The Gymnastics-Audit Team and the Coach-Mom

Dream: I am an observer. There is a coach and young athletes - perhaps nine or ten. The coach is at the head of two parallel bars on which the young athletes are doing training. It seems like they are turning over the bars. The bars are two rows close together and the athletes are boys and girls. They are probably the same age, but the girls look more mature.

At first I only notice the boys and one in particular. He is tired and thinks the coach is expecting too much. The boy says he has some injury and crawls between the bars toward the lady coach. She doesn't stop the practice, but keeps on going. The boy now does half-hearted turning over the bars.

Now it is the end of the day's session and the boy quits the team! And now others quit the team and there are only six girls left; they don't complain. They seem to be willing to work. The coach is discouraged though. I believe she is wondering if there will be enough participants on the team for the next competition (but the dream is unclear on that point).

Now I seem like the coach and am standing just inside the door at the house of the boy who quit first. It is dusk-like in this modest room. The boy's mother is in the room. She is very discouraged about the boy quitting. She is very disappointed. She had high hopes of how well things were going. She knew he had something to overcome - fight back from something - but had thought her son was making progress.

PMID Step 1: Day-before-your-dream event(s) that connect to this dream.

The dream came in early morning the day there was major auditing case work due as well as an important basketball game that night. I prepared for the class presentation the day before this dream.

PMID Step 2: Connect day-before-the dream thoughts to dream by treating the dream as a responsive answer to pre-dream thoughts.

None recorded. I dreamed this dream before I recognized the great impact that pre-dream thoughts have on subsequent dreams. In the context of this dream, I certainly was thinking about the major case being due.

PMID Step 3: Major dream phrases (and symbols) defined in the context of this dream.

• I an observer: (At the first of the dream). My non-recognition of myself in the circumstances of the dream.
• Coach and young athletes: I use a team approach in teaching an advanced auditing class where the class size ranges between twelve to fifteen students. We sit around oblong tables pulled together and act as an auditing team with me, the professor, as the partner-in-charge.
• Parallel bars: Reminds me of gymnastics. My husband often uses the word "gymnastics" in referring to frustration from excessive paperwork.
• Bars being close together: Setting for the auditing class. This spring I purposely used only one long table in order to bring the students in close eye-to-eye contact. The arrangement of the young women and young men in the dream was basically the same as in the classroom with the young women on one side of the table and the young men on the other side with the coach at the front end.
• Boy who thinks the coach is expecting too much: In the context of this dream, one of the hardest working students in the class and also a star of the University men's basketball team.
• Intense practice: My practice of making intense assignments.
• Boy crawling toward the lady coach: Shows this young man’s desperate need for relief.
• Coach not stopping the practice: I had not decreased the intensity of my assignments prior to this dream.
• Boy quitting the team: Although the young man symbolized in this dream didn’t actually quit the auditing class, my dream is using that symbolism to show the damage I am doing with my excessive paperwork assignments.
• All the boys quit the team and the girls (six) not complaining: Here, I believe my dream is using a general symbolism that I subscribe to for masculine and feminine characteristics of every human being - the masculine meaning the objective reasoning, and the feminine meaning the intuitive and feeling aspect of all humans. So here says, professor, you are demanding too much objective reasoning in your assignments. (One universal symbol meaning of the number six is “intuition.” There are less than six young women in the actual class.)
• I seeming like the coach: My recognition for the first time in the dream that I am acting like a demanding coach to my auditing students.
• Boy’s mother: My mothering nature I display toward my students, a caretaking role.
• Boy’s mother having thought her son was making progress: This young man being one of the hardest working students in my class, I honestly thought he was keeping up with the type and amount of work I assigned.

PMID Step 4: Dreaming emotions compared with waking life emotions.

In my dream, the mother’s emotions (very discouraged and disappointed about the boy quitting) represents the mom in me who is concerned about the young man in a more compassionate and understanding way than the coach professor in me who has a greater interest in the team's being able to do well than in the physical, emotional or mental well being of the gymnast-students. I don’t recall feeling concern about whether I was assigning too much “paperwork” before this dream.

PMID Step 5: Solutions or suggestions for changing thoughts, attitudes or behaviors.

My dream shows that I am assigning excessive paperwork for my auditing students. For the young athlete-scholar, the intense practice is his style. But the "gymnastics" (unnecessary "paper work") required as a student in my class, coupled with the demands placed on him as a superior athlete are de-energizing.

How I used the dream: I immediately cut back on the work assignments for the auditing class.

This next article is from YourGuidingDreams.com Discussion Room.

Facilitation Notes for Using the PMID Model -

Carlie Leaves – I am Left to Pay for the Dresses We Bought

DREAM: Carlie and I are shopping for dresses. At first, I cannot find any. Then I see two I like. One is orange-red and the other is one of two green dresses (one with sleeves and the other not). Before I can try them on, Carlie says she wanted them, especially one of the green ones. The store is going to close soon. I let her try on one of the green dresses; she takes the one I want most, the one with sleeves in, to try on.

When she comes back, we exchange to try the other dress, but the store is going to close soon, and even before that Carlie has to leave to get to an engagement so I say I will take care of getting the dresses. I don't recall for certain, but I think I do get the dress with the sleeves in and that she preferred the other. I am with the clerk preparing to pay for my dress and arrange something on Carlie's dress. I have an uneasy feeling.

PMID Step 1: Record the event(s) you had before your dream (most often, day before) that appears either objectively or figuratively in this dream.

Last night I did some journaling (writing) about Philip to help me understand our relationship better. One of the notes I wrote was, I reacted to Philip in dysfunctional ways today.

FACILITATOR NOTES: Ability to connect a pre-dream event(s) to the dream to determine a theme of the dream is the first important clue the dreamer needs to record at the time of the dream to retain the clue.

To discover the dream theme, search the dream for objective and/or figurative connections to a pre-dream event(s). A theme for this dream is possible links between my relationship with Philip and my earlier experiences with Carlie. That clue comes from connecting the dreamer's pre-dream journaling (writing) about Philip to the dreamer's dealings with Carlie in the dream.

Awareness of current events that trigger unresolved emotional reactions originating from the past is obviously critical. Here, the dreamer's pre-dream journaling about a current relationship, Philip, seems to be the trigger for her dream about an earlier relationship. The dreamer's work with PMID Step 2 will move deeper into the reason the dream came.

PMID Step 2: Record the thought(s) you had before your dream (most often, day before) that seem to connect to this dream either objectively or figuratively. Write “I thought” statements to help clarify which pre-dream thoughts brought this dream.

The night before this dream, I thought about the differences in Philip and my personalities. Some of the thoughts I had were - "When we married, he seemed like the ideal match. By now, I realize Philip and I have very different personalities. I don't see any flaws in him, so instead of being myself, I try to be like him, but a rose is a rose is a rose, and I can only be me."

FACILITATOR NOTES: Connecting previous day's thought(s) to the dream is the second clue to understanding dreams. Make precise thought connections to the dream. Write in "I thought" form - "The day before this dream/the night before this dream I thought"...to distinguish that this step deals with pre-dream thoughts instead of after-the-dream thoughts.

Mixing concentrated focus with intuitive listening is helpful in searching for clues to pre-dream thoughts that connect to the dream. Recalling thoughts that stirred emotions during the day before the dream is also helpful to identify thoughts that connect, either objectively or figuratively, to the dream. (PMID Step 4 addresses emotions.)

We see that the dreamer has decided the dream came in response to her thoughts about Philip. A possible thought question for this dream might have been, "How am I going to resolve the differences in Philip and my personalities?"

Without event and thought connections, it would be difficult to tie the dream to the dreamer's relationship with her husband.

But how does the dreamer's relationship with her husband connect to Carlie? The dream is about Carlie. For this dream, we must wait until Step 3, dream phrase/symbol definitions to discover more about how the dreamer's relationship with her husband connects to Carlie.

PMID Step 3: Select all major dream phrases (and symbols) in your dream and write your personal definitions for each in the context of this dream. Example: Dream Phrase - Opportunity to buy an organ. Dreamer’s Definition - I prefer the piano. In the context of this dream, the person who asked me for a date yesterday is not my preferred type.

Carlie: My childhood best friend

Dresses: Clothes mean personality to me in this dream, especially since I thought about Philip and my personalities before this dream.

Shopping for dresses together: Carlie and I grew up together, which was a time of personality shaping

Trying on dresses: Trying out what characteristics best fit us

Green dresses: One meaning for the color green is "growth ...not fully developed or perfected in growth" (Boushahla & Reidel-Geubtner, 1992). In this dream, green dresses mean to me growth in Carlie and my personalities during our growing up years.

Each seems to get the dress we wanted: Seems like we both chose growth experiences we wanted. Carlie chose a shorter route, with the sleeveless dress???

Carlie's engagement: I think this refers to Carlie’s engagement to her future husband.

Carlie leaving before store closes: Aha, the something Carlie left before I left was school. She left school early to be married.

Left to arrange something on Carlie's dress: Could represent my being left with unresolved feelings from Carlie and my friendship.

FACILITATOR NOTES: Especially important to notice is that Carlie was a one-time best friend. This helps us understand the connection between Philip and Carlie. Philip is a current relationship that concerns the dreamer. Carlie is an earlier relationship that apparently has left the dreamer with unresolved emotions.

For this step, the dreamer contemplates how each dream symbol/symbol phrase could derive from personal experiences.

When using universal definitions (common definitions often found in dream dictionaries) still incorporate personal experiences when personal experiences seem to apply. Notice our dreamer has defined several symbol phrase definitions from her personal experiences. She has also defined two universal-type symbol definitions (clothes and green) and incorporated her personal experiences in those definitions.

PMID Step 4: Compare your dreaming emotions with your waking life emotions about the main issue and/or relationship in this dream. What differences, if any, do you find between your dreaming emotions and waking life emotions? Also, periodically review your dreaming emotions about the main issue or relationship.

Counselors often compare clients' emotions over time to evaluate clients' progress.

For PMID Step 4, our dreamer wrote:

In the dream, I have an uneasy feeling about being left to pay for Carlie's dress. In waking life, during my journaling about Philip, I felt a growing uneasiness that I had difficulty shaking off. During the day before my dream, I had an uneasy feeling about reacting to Philip in awkward ways. I have also had other times of uneasiness about our relationship. That is why I did the journaling.

FACILITATOR NOTES: Dreaming emotions and pre-dream waking life emotions are the third category of clues to understanding dreams that the dreamer needs to record at the time of the dream to retain these clues.

The PMID Model relies on the intrinsic (true) honesty of emotional content in dreams. If dreaming emotions are unhealthful, changing thoughts or behaviors can result in healthful change in emotions.

PMID Step 5: Explore your dream for possible solutions by treating your pre-dream thoughts (most often, day before) as questions that your dream answers.

My dream seems to answer my thoughts about Philip by saying, "You are still paying for unresolved personality issues about losing Carlie's friendship and it affects your comfort in other friendships. You act in dysfunctional ways with Philip because you are not over losing Carlie as a friend." If I still carry unresolved issues from that friendship, it is my responsibility to arrange how to resolve them.

FACILITATOR NOTES: In processing this solutions step the dreamer ties the theme developed in Step 1, the thought question(s) developed in Step 2, the personal definitions developed in Step 3, and emotions identified in Step 4 to uncover the dream's suggestions or solutions in PMID Step 5.

Since dreams often contain wisdom beyond waking thoughts, look for dreaming solution(s) beyond waking thoughts. The surprise our dreamer discovers from her work with this dream is that earlier emotional experiences with her childhood friend, Carlie are still affecting the dreamer's emotions in adult life.

"This model (PMID model) is especially helpful in identifying, clarifying, and resolving relationship problems. During our waking hours, we often feel frustrated that our rational attempts to solve life challenges are unsuccessful. It is then that our dreams often provide innovative and unexpected answers" (S. Krippner, personal communication, March 2, 2001).

A caveat (caution) about possibility of misinterpretation: Misinterpreting a dream and putting that misinterpretation into action is a great obstacle to working with dreams. To avoid misinterpretations, interpret more than one dream about important issues. There are times when immediate action seems wise; even then, review original interpretations for need of revision and consult with trustful others.

PMID Step 6: With whom is your primary relationship in this dream? Compare your dreaming and waking life reactions to each person in this dream. In addition, note any influences from the past indicated in this dream.

Actually, I think the most important relationship pointed to by this dream is Philip. My relationship with him is influenced by my unresolved reactions to losing Carlie as a best friend.

Carlie was my best friend from as early as I can remember, about six years old. She invited me to Sunday school with her. She chose me to travel with her family on an extended trip. She exchanged visits with me on Saturdays and during the summers. Then she chose other best friends. However, I honestly do not remember how I reacted when I lost Carlie as my best friend.

In the dream I react to Carlie by being willing to let her have the dress (personality) she wanted. I also react to her by taking responsibility for her dress (personality) instead of understanding that was not my job.

In waking life, I must be reacting to Philip, from a “Carlie-left-me-for-other-friends” consciousness. I still feel responsible for losing Carlie’s friendship and it causes me to react unnaturally in current friendships, here my reactions to Philip.

FACILITATOR NOTES: The above dreamer was a participant (Rose) in a case study. The above is one of the dreams she presented for the study. Rose interpreted a series of dreams about Carlie. She dreamed three of those dreams on nights after she had had stressful reactions to Philip the day before. She finally had a dream that she understood to mean her best friend is her own self. Instead of depending on approval from others, depend on approval from her self.

The dreamer's (Rose) epilogue to her work with her dreams about Carlie: The day after I completed my Carlie series of dreams I noticed a cemetery stone for a person named "Rose Carlie." I took the synchronicity as a sign that I have finally become able to lay my irrational thoughts and emotions about losing Carlie to rest.

Rose also interpreted a series of dreams about Philip and came to much more comfortable reactions to him. Some words she wrote about Philip after the last dream she shared about him were, "Two different worlds we live in. Two different worlds they say. Yes, Philip and I live in two different worlds. Gratefully, now we know the sacredness of being alone in our individual worlds. Perhaps Philip always knew that sacredness. Gratefully, too, now we experience a quiet blissful togetherness that none but those who love know."